i havent blogged in a very very very long time!

my lifes been a bit jam packed with drama lately
Its been quite exciting if im honest. Stuffs happening here, stuffs happening there, I handle stress really well and Im loving it. Its means Im never bored

My room at the moment looks like a crackden. I have no bed as my boyfriend broke it. And no not like that. Dont ever let a 6'5" 19yr old with the mental age of a 8yr old jump on your bed. So I'm sleepin on a mattress on the floor, I have no wardrobe as I ordered a new one, chucked my old one out, and now apparently the new one wont be here for another 2 weeks! The only piece of furniture in there at the moment is my bookshelf. Everything is all over the floor and it does look like scarily a crackden.

Im off to Brighton tommorrow
going to stay with Nicks parents for friday and saturday night. His parents are really nice and their house is really near the beach and the lanes. If you havent been to the lanes before, your missing it out. Theres gorgeous quirky shops, i suppose its slightly like Camden in the fact the shops are unique, but its not as 'rock' as Camden. Then Im back on Sunday.

then next saturday is Simon Amstell
down in saaaaafend with my gorgeous cousin Hannah.
and she has a blog aswell now
after i convinced her to get one
http://www.blog.co.uk/user/hellohannah
talk to her because she has no friends yet haha
no really, shes just a ledgend.

right and now im off to help my friend cook a meal for his date tonight
why he agreed to cook when he as no idea what hes doing in a kitchen is beyond me

chow.

Today is my Dad's and Noel Fielding's Birthday!
My Dad is 38 and Noel is 35!
yaaayyy

and moving on...:P

My friend is driving me mad going on about the Mindless Self Indulgence gig in July with IAMX supporting. I'm excited myself now I've figured out how im getting out of a wedding early to go, and i love my friend to pieces but shes doing my head in!
'will there be another support band?'
'whats songs will they do?'
do they do this? do they do that?
argh!
She assumes just beacause I've seen the bands live before that I know everything theyre going to do.
I'm looking forward to it a lot more than I usually am with other gigs, because like 30 people I know are going to be there, and its MSI AND IAMX! two of my favourite bands live in one night, and for only £16 a ticket that suits me fine

Who else is going?

After what feels like years of saving up, I finally got my new sewing machine!
My old one broke a couple of months back ¬_¬
but in all fairness I did use it practically everyday and it was like 10 years old.

I make/customise a lot of my clothes. Mainly because I hate having the same clothes as other people, and it means I can buy things cheap from markets and charity shops then change them to suit me. And it actually makes me feel like my A Level in textiles was worthwhile!

You have no idea how excited I was when i got this badboy home

hell yes

So my friday night has pretty much consisted of me 'fixing up' and customising a load of old clothes I've collected over the last 2 months of living without a sewing machine!
I've customised a plain short black skirt, by sewing on all sorts of badges, bows and ribbons to the left side, and adding some petticoat material underneath to make it more 'poofy' haha
A mens black and purple lined waistcoat that used to be my grandad's when he was younger, by making it smaller and fitted so it looks like a womens.
And a white 'boob tube' minidress that I found in Tesco for £4, by adding a big blue bow on the chest. I got the idea from this dress on dollydagger.com;

but that costs £39.00!

Overall I've had a lovely night, sitting on my living room floor being a creative owl

Why is ‘coming out’ always made a huge deal of?
Someone i know recently came out to everyone they knew, and whilst most of his friends were cool with it, his family are strongly against it and think he’s bought shame on their family. Theyre not even religious or anything! Theyre just against it for no reason at all, other than they think its ‘dirty’. This poor guy has finally got the courage to come out to everyone [he didn’t even tell his best friend before!] and his family are treating him like he’s no longer their son because of it. And although he’s trying not to show it, its upset him a hell of a lot.

I just find it completely ridiculous. I can sort of understand if the family are really religious and thats why they’d be against it, but theyre not at all. They just think its wrong. It upsets me that he’s having to put up with this just to be who he wants to be. And hes come out to everyone at the same time, he’s so brave.

When i first properly admitted to myself I was bisexual, I was 15. Then at 16 I told my two best friends Tegan and Ryan. I was absolutely petrified of telling them but they were completely fine with it, saying that it made no difference at all to our friendship. They were so supportive and without them I dont think I would be as open about it as I am now. At 17 I told brother witout even planning it, I just came out to him on a Saturday afternoon. He was shocked and it took him a while but now he’s cool with it. Then I had to tell my dad, this i was dreading the most and I burst into tears as I said it. I dont know why i cried. I was scared he was going to be ashamed of me and I remember saying ‘Im Sorry’, but he just hugged me and said ‘Skai you could be the biggest lesbian going , but you’ll never stop being my daughter and I'll love you till my dying day’.

All the people that matter to me most were fine with it, but i did lose about 3 friends who didn’t agree with it. One friend was religious and I knew she was against it, but I just thought, I either lose a friend and be open about who i really am, or i keep her but stay unhappy. Another friend just called it disgusting and I haven’t spoken to her since the day I told her. It upset me at the time to lose these people but I now realise my life is better without homophobic people like them in.

Coming out is unfair. Straight people don't have to do it, so why should we? Its just assumed everyone is straight and thats accepted. But for those of us who are gay, lesbian or bisexual, we have to go through the very inconvenient step of dealing with other people's preconceptions. And its not fair at all. We dont wake up and think ‘I’ll be gay from now on’. Its not just for attention. Its not because we fancy being different. Its who we are, and we shouldn’t have to hide it from society no matter how much it can get looked down on.

Being straight isn’t ‘normal’, its just more common. Being gay or lesbian or bisexual isn't good or bad, right or wrong. It just is. And the sooner people realise that the better

RANT OVER.

so we're sitting on a bench

'the word cock is so silly.' -Tegan
'what!?' -Ryan, Nick & I
'well it is. cock.' -Tegan
'ha if you say so.' -Nick
'where does it even come from? cock. i mean come on. cock? why?'
'can you stop saying it tegan' -Nick
'yes please do' -Ryan
'why wont you talk about the word cock?' -Tegan
'because we dont want to think about cocks at this minute' -Ryan
'why? you all love it. apart from ryan. cock.cock.cock.cock.cock.' -Tegan
'Tee stop it!' -Nick
'youre worse than a kid!' -Me
'we really cant take you anywhere.' -Ryan
'youre such virgins.' -Tegan
'ha, you know im not' -Ryan
'me either.' -Nick
'Skai is.' -Tegan
'excuse me? i am not! you know I'm not!' -Me
*school boy walks past*
'face it babe, youre a virgin' -Tegan
*boy looks at me funny*
'wooooooaaaah' -boy

bahaha.
Tegan was being sarcastic by the way :/
the boy didnt quite realise.

So I've had a really good day
I had work in the morning but this afternoon I went shopping with my brother Fyfe to buy him a suit for prom.
For my prom we had an 80's theme, which meant bright colours and big dresses for girls, and retro suits for the boys. We had an 80's band and everything and it was soo much fun! But his prom is a formal thing, which is not Fyfe at all, so after trying on a million suits that i think all looked the same, we gave up on those and had to find something 'more him'.
About and hundred shops later we finally found an outfit.
Black trousers, a black tail coat/blazer, white shirt, black winklepicker shoes, a top hat, and a red bow tie to match his girlfriends red dress.
I think I genuinely scared him when i mentoned hat hair though.
And i know he's going to ruin it at an afterparty he's going to :/
It was the most time I've spent with Fyfe in a long time and I'm so close to him so it was really nice. And walking round shops in a tophat made me feel quite the magician ha.
He's going to stand out at his prom as i doubt anyone else will be wearing top hats, but then my brother never likes to fit in with the crowd.
Then we went to eat chinese
and chat about everything thats going on in each others lives lately, as we havent spoke properly in ages due to the fact that he's always round his girlfriend's or I'm out somewhere.
Then we came home and I watched Brokeback Mountain for the 1000th time and still cried my eyes out. Its a beautiful film, and I think even more sad since Heath Leger died

But overall I've had a lovely day

So ive been reading through my diary of 2005 for the past half hour [i cant sleep and couldnt find a book!], and its mainly me going on about my friends and family ect, but there were quite a few pages on my obsessions/loves from back then. I was 15/16 when i had these. And its strange to think about how much i was into things that seem so ridiculous now, but one or two things are exactly the same.
I'm not actually obsessed but you get what im saying
They are/were

The Mighty Boosh/Noel Fielding/Julian Barratt - The obsessions grown slightly.
Blink 182 - I rarely listen to them anymore but still think they were a great band.
Going to as many gigs as I possibly could - Of course this is still a love, but im not so bothered about missing a gig as I was back then
WWE Wrestling - I havent watched it in years. Theres actually a whole 4 pages dedicated to my favourite wrestler Eddie Guerro when he died in November. I remember crying my eyes out when I heard about it
Dying my hair - I dyed it like 3 times a month, my favourite was when i did it bright blonde with the ends done in rainbow colours. I was a very stereotypical 'scene' kid back then. Thinking back now, I looked like a dick.
Getting things pierced - I had my nose, ears 3 times on the lobe and twice on the cartilage, belly button and monroe lip. This was my 'scene' phase taking over i think. I took them out in 2006 and just kept 2 of my ears on the lobe and one cartilage.
Good Charlotte - I have no idea why I loved them so much.
Huge headphones - I still love these, but only use them if im going to the shop or park. they became too much hassle.
Guys with big hair - I will still love them when im 70. fact.
Keeping leaflets you get given on the street - I still do this. I have no idea why actually but theres a box filled with hundreds of them under my bed.

I was normal

I cant stand when you hear about something, say a band for example, and you really like them but when you tell you friends or any other people to listen to them, they dont bother and just shrug and carry on with their lives.
Then the band will get a song into the charts and everyones suddenly obsessed with them, and youre like 'hello?! i heard of them ages ago mate!'

It was the same with the Boosh. I got into them about 2004/2005 after my dad starting watching it [yes my dad, he'd seen them in pubs before they even had the radio series! and has been a fan ever since], and as soon as we all watched it together my brother and I were addicted. I got a few friends into it, but hardly anyone i knew had ever heard of Noel or Julian. Then along strolls 2006/2007 and everyone knows them! now its almost seemed 'uncool' if you dont know who the boosh are! So people are recommending them to me and Im like 'I TOLD YOU TO WATCH IT LAST YEAR! GET WITH THE TIMES FOOL!'

things like that annoy me.
anyone else get like that?

Its sickly sweet, you have been warned

The one who gives you all the orange sweets. The one who kisses your forehead everyday because he knows you love it. The one who saves you from a spider at 2 in the morning. The one who takes you out for sushi in your lunchtime. The one who carry’s you through huge puddles. The one who lifts you up when you cant see at gigs. The one who kisses you infront of the ex who broke your heart. The one who offers you a Kit Kat finger. The one who says you look beautiful when youve had about 2 hours sleep. The one who is just as obsessed with The Horrors and Boosh as you are. The one who will watch a film they hate because you want too. The one who walks you home just to make sure you dont get attacked by the strange man on the ground floor. The one who strokes your hair when youre falling asleep. The one who doesn’t need to ask ‘how many sugars?’. The one who treats your younger brother like his own. The one who will eat your cooking even when its burnt and disgusting. The one who will go see bands he doesnt like because he knows you love them. The one who wakes you before they leave in the morning, to tell you they love you. The one who doesnt mind that you stick yellow post it notes on everything. The one who is so tall he will pick you up to kiss your nose. The one who lets you cry on their shirt and not care about make up stains. The one who doesnt mind that you bite your nails. The one who does everything he possibly can to make you happy. The one who will always say he loves you more, no matter how much you disagree.

I have that one
& he means the absolute world to me

*slaps self for love mushiness*

If someone is blind from birth, meaning theyve never seen a thing in their whole life, what do they dream about?

How do we know that animals dont have sex for pleasure?

Do animals get turned on by other animals having sex?

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

If theres no proof at all that there is a parrallel world, who came up with the idea and how?

When dogs bark at each other, are they really talking?

If there were no religions, would we have wars?

If there were no religions, would there be thousands more openly gay people or only a few?
I dont blame everything on religion, i just think it has a lot to do with different peoples veiws on society and the world.

What would famous people be doing if there was no such thing as fame?

skai is very very bored.